Originally posted by 5280High:
Originally posted by oldninerdude:
Originally posted by 5280High:
Sorry, but based not only on the purely objective opinions of multiple draft experts but also those of numerous draft gurus, I have to disagree.
Wanted to add my projections of where these players will end up by the end of their careers based on purely objective opinions from multiple draft experts:
1) AJ Jenkins - Surefire first ballot hall of famer, probably breaks all of Rice's records
2) LMJ - A new position will be created in the offense just for him to combine his skills as a Running Back and Wide Receiver called the "Wide Running Beaver". Hesitant at first, the league takes a couple years to make this an official position and introduce it to the Hall of Fame when LMJ retires.
4) Looney - Hall of Fame
5) Flemming - Hall of Fame on the second ballot
6) Robinson - Gets inducted to hall of fame while he is still playing... his greatness makes the league waive the 5 yr and retired requirement
6) Slowey - Hall of Fame not only at the center position but every position across the line. After retirement he b*tch slaps the other 7 dwarves and take Snow White for himself.
7) Johnson - Will be inducted to the hall of fame while serving a 10 year prison sentance for accidentally decapitating Stafford during a sack... his 30th of that particular season.
1.) Jenkins--arrested for breaking into Rice's home, sez he's just looking for some "records" to break, apologizes to everyone and goes on a crash weight gain diet where he gains 100+ pounds and starts his career all over at RG. As a RG he is touted as "very fast and very soft hands."
2.) LMJ--the term "Wide Running Beaver" is challenged in Federal Court by various indigenous groups, and found to be, like the term "Packers," politically incorrect. LMJ promptly retires, rather than propagate said political incorrectness any further.
4.) Looney-his Bugs Bunny impression at training camp brings rave reviews, prompts Joe to pursue acting career, enters Hollywood Hall of Fame for "outstanding reverse caricature."
5.) Flemming--unable to find a real "position" on the field, Darius writes a series of spy novels as an outlet for his frustration, retires as a wealthy author and winner of numerous literary awards. Changes his first name to Igor.
6.) Slowey--have to agree, you nailed this one.
7.) Johnson--your observations here are based on the common misconception that Stafford is actually taller than he is. This was the basis of Cam's successful defense at his criminal trial--where he was exonerated and got a personal apology from Jim Schwartz.
No Illiad nor Odessy
I think we both
nailed it this year with our respective draft analyses, draft grades, draft observations, draft beer, draft evasion, drafty rooms, drafty underpants, dirty jokes, recitation of epic poetry, and post draft good times..
Not necessarilty in that order, of course.
And please note that our boards were not
intended to be rankings of players, or of their talents, abilities, measurables, IQs, or shoe sizes. Any resemblance to reality, past or present, is purely coincidental and unintended.
The boards are not lists, rankings, positionings, or prognostications, and any player you might see on them is not really where he appears to be. So if he's drafted somewhere else, total deniability is available. Unless, of course, we want to take credit.
And we do.
Its been a fun run, a crazy trip, an epic event, but well worth all the late hours and many hangovers. At least for you. For me, not so much, but I digress.
Grading this draft posed incredible difficulties to surpass, numerous challenges to ignore, and enormous obstacles to overcome, as you well know. I think.
I almost just gave it an incomplete, but knowing how very, very, very much depends on my post draft grade each year, I decided to go blindfolded and just try to pin the tail on the donkey. Who knew that Ms. Buxley would be not only ticklish, but a screamer as well. I'm sure charges will be dropped, eventually.
My hope, as yours is as well, I'm sure, is that Baalke and Harbaugh actually learn from our epic efforts and improve their performance on next year's draft.
Of course, there's always the many, many, many adoring fans on the webzone who follow our boards so religiously every year (mine more than yours, but who's counting) (I am).
So let me thank you, the Academy, my mom and dad, my aunts and uncles, my wife, my producer, my director, my pets--especially my dog, Mr. Tinkle--and above all, my many, many fawning fans.
So congrats, my good, good friend. Never forget that I picked two or three more guys than you this year, again, and came closer to actually predicting Mr. Irrelevant than ever.
[ Edited by oldninerdude on May 10, 2012 at 12:02 PM ]