Ward opens up about tragedy, potential 'final goodbye' with 49ers

SANTA CLARA — After the most tragic year of his life, 49ers cornerback Charvarius Ward looks ahead with a motivated, yet uncertain, future. The All-Pro is set to become a free agent after spending three seasons with the 49ers, but re-signing Ward might not be as easy for San Francisco as it seems. Living in California has been a struggle since the defender lost his almost 2-year-old daughter Amani Joy on Oct. 28. "I had the two best years of my career here, and I feel like this year was probably the worst year of my career," Ward said Monday, the day after the 49ers' final game of the 2024 NFL season. "Just because of what I went through, off the field, with my daughter and I almost lost my son early on in the pregnancy as well before I lost my daughter. It was just a effed up year all around for me, for sure." Ward managed to return to the 49ers and play in their Dec. 1 game against the Buffalo Bills. But even a month later, being away from his family and home in Dallas was a tremendous struggle. "It took everything, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually," Ward said. "It took all of that every day for me to just come here and be able to practice. I wasn't going to meetings half the time because my social battery was so low. It was hard to be around people. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. "Getting dressed that afternoon for the Bills game, I burst out in tears crying. I couldn't control it. On the way to the game I was crying. Walking into the stadium I was crying. It was tough. Hardest thing I've ever had to do, for sure." Ward received his first NFL Pro Bowl and All-Pro honors after his 2023 campaign, when he notched a league-leading 23 pass breakups. The corner's standout play was a reflection of his newly forged bond with Amani Joy. "We built a great relationship," Ward said. "It was hard at first because I wasn't around. Then when the season ended, I got home and she was like, 'Who the F is this guy?' She would cry when I tried to touch her. But we built that relationship, and that's when I started playing my best ball and I was the happiest." If Ward had continued along the path he had started in 2023, he'd likely be set to become one of the highest-paid free-agent cornerbacks on the market, but that was not to be. Ward's girlfriend Monique was pregnant with the couple's second child, whom they nearly lost in the first trimester, then they had to deal with the heartbreaking loss of Amani Joy. Monique left California to stay in the Dallas area and be near family afterward, so when Ward returned to Bay Area, he was alone. "I have a lot of trauma in California," Ward said. "Every time I get on the plane to back to California, San Jose, Santa Clara, show up here, it's where I have bad memories. I go through that every day. I go home every night by myself because my girl doesn't want to come back to California because of what happened. "It's hard being alone, and she's my strength right now. I need her. I get PTSD a lot. I'll be throwing up, waking up in the middle of the night all the time, sweating. So it's tough, but we will see how it goes." Ward suited up for five of the final six games of the season for the 49ers, but just getting ready for games was a challenge. Still, the cornerback pressed forward as much as he could, committed to his teammates and the organization. But Ward second-guesses his decision to this day. "I feel like I made a mistake coming back," Ward said. "I feel like I should have stayed home the whole time because coming back here, it was depressing. But I came back because it was my job and I felt like I wanted to be with my teammates. " was my biggest inspiration, my biggest motivator, so when I lost her, the person I was playing for was the person I was grieving over. So I didn't have a purpose anymore; I wasn't motivated to go out there and play hard." Then on Dec. 28 at 9:23 p.m., Charvarius "Mooney" Ward Jr. arrived, weighing 6 pounds, 4 ounces and measuring 19 inches long. Ward was there for the delivery, and although the couple's first son was four weeks early, he was home with his family after a few days in the NICU. "I did have a bright spot when Amani's little brother was born," Ward said. "I have a newfound purpose, so hopefully 2025 will be better. Going into this offseason, I feel this will be the most motivated I've ever been. I'm going to play for my family, my daughter, my son, and it will definitely help out a lot." While players were packing the contents of their lockers up in giant cardboard boxes, Ward delivered autographed game jerseys to several players around the locker room. While the All-Pro was speaking to the media, Fred Warner returned the favor as the two defensive stars potentially spent their last moments together in the same locker room. "It feels like a final goodbye, but you just never know," Ward said. "I talked to John Lynch and there's a possibility that I could be back here. If I am, hopefully we can finish the job and win a Super Bowl next year." Download and follow the 49ers Talk Podcast

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