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The Point After with Fropwns (9/27/15)

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The Point After with Fropwns (9/27/15)

fropwns · 2015-09-27T16:01:56-07:00

The Point After with Fropwns (9/27/15) Voodoo, that s**t will mess you up. We are cursed. It is official. I'm sick as a dog by the way; and no, it wasn't because my Hogs choked one away, again, against A&M yesterday while playing at Jerry's World University of Arkansas West; nor is it because my guy, Kap, decided to return to potato football.—although, that did not help. Nor is it our general play (Patton??? WTF?) all around where there is enough potato to go around to make us think this game wasn't in AZ but it was in Idaho. It is because I am legitimately sick. With that being said, I am going to write this motherf**ker in real time. It couldn't go bad, could it? SO here we go… 1. Kap, mah dude. You must never play like a spud. YOU PLAYED LIKE A f**kING SPUD IN THE FIRST HALF! As I write this it is in the second quarter. Cards up big, and the only thing I can think about are those two early Kap interceptions. They were both awful, awful plays. If the Niners end up losing this game (and that looks likely; if not certain) those picks will be played over and over. In the second quarter, the Niners have lost confidence in the passing game. So, I am wondering, when are they going to just start chucking it? I ask because for the second time in consecutive weeks, they are down by four scores. And that s**t ain't going to fly around these parts. It is now late in the second and Kap threw another pick. I am ready to barf… It is now early in third and Kap threw another pick. I am heartbroken. It is almost like Kap decided to be rid of everything he learned in the off-season. He is not confident. He is now running. GODDAMNIT! You already have four picks, might as well push for five. You GOT TO GRAB YO BALLS, STOP STEPPING ALL OVER MINE, AND THROW IT! And then a sack. Then we hand off to Hyde...safety. Wait, I got to med up… So what's my jam? Advil Cold and Sinus plus some Emergen-C and some Theraflu. 1. Describe the 49ers defense in the first half…. "Desperately in need of a pass rush." Sure, they got a few hits on Palmer; and sure they had a hole to deal with thanks to Kap's absolutely awful (potato, did I say it, yet? HE PLAYED LIKE A f**kING SPUD! AND IT KILLS ME WHEN HE PLAYS LIKE A SPUD!) first half performance. Though, we got some late pressure and Acker gets a pick; but we still give up chunks to the Cards. 31-7 is just bad. 2A. Describe the 49ers defense in the first half…. "while they may still be fighting, they are f**king beaten." They are grabbing the smelling salts because we are on the mat like Mike Tyson slobbering all over the place looking for our mouth piece. 3. WE NEED HOPE! BUT WE KEEP CRUSHING OUR OWN BALLS! HOW IN THE f**k CAN YOU DO THAT AND EXPECT TO WIN? QUIT CRUSHING MY BALLS! PLEASE?! Carlos Hyde is a beast, though. He is our beast-mode. He alone is providing us with great hope. Then comes Hayne! HAYNE, Outback Jesus to some, "Blooming Onion" to me, brought life to a lethargic and deadly-silent 49er Offense—Aussies are rejoicing and pounding "Foster's" or whatever the hell it is they do. They are doing it! Then comes….a f**kING FLAG?!?!? The HOGS did this s**t in Arlington, do I have to watch it, again? Wait, is this really Saturday and I am all f**ked up on cold medicine that I have no idea what I am doing? Wait. Then Kap hears me bellow, or was I coughing? f**k, I don't know. All I know is Kap ran that s**t in for 6. No bicep kiss. Hmm, I like it. He ran off the field, says something to VD, probably that he would like a strawberry and banana Jamba Juice—because you know he is actually doing something while VD has gone stone cold quiet—and sits down and studies. THAT is different, though. And I like it. Sit down and figure out this s**t—then he throws another pick while trying to hit VD, who I suspect hasn't grabbed Kap his Jamba Juice. We are down by 31 points, though in the early second half! THE SECOND HALF! EARLY THAT IS! 4. VD is now on the sideline. It is 40-7. Did he get Kap his Jamba Juice, yet? I got to know! He must have because Kap threw the ball away, like he is supposed to! WTF? I wonder if Kap likes Jamba Juice? I had a Jamba Juice once. It was aight. I mean I would not get all nekid for it or anything. But, it was okay. If it was hot outside, I would drink it in a pinch. But if Kap had a Jamba Juice before this game, I would advise him TO NEVER DRINK THAT FRUITY s**t AGAIN! God, I am going to barf. I never barf. f**k that. I am going to will that s**t away. Speaking of willing s**t away... 5. I HAVE RUN OUT OF POSITIVE THINGS TO SAY. AND SO HAVE THE ANNOUNCERS BECAUSE THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT ARIANS' HEADGEAR?!?!?! And now they are f**king going for it. Yep, I am still in bold. They, the Cardinals of Phoenix, and f**k what the announcers say, THEY ARE TRYING TO ESTABLISH DOMINANCE! THEY ARE f**kING US! ALA Mr. GARRISON ON SOUTH PARK! By the way, did you watch that episode? I mean yeah it was funny, but it was missing something. Anyway, now they are throwing it on us. With 5:21 on the clock in the fourth. Why didn't I draft Fitzgerald in fantasy football? I'll TELL YOU WHY, he f**ked me last year. And now, ala Mr. GARRISON in SOUTH PARK, IS f**kING ME, AGAIN! 47-7. I know, I know, I am still in the BOLD, but KAP TRIED A SHOVEL PASS TO...NOBODY! Which is better than some of his earlier throws. Jeebus. I know what some of you are thinking. Damn, Fro. Take it easy on the guy. NOPE. I am a Kap fan. It is my right to call out s**tty play. AND NOW WE PUNT. Hey, look, I turned off bold and the game. I feel a bit better now. Final viewpoint: Team is young, but this loss is on Kap. You cannot do what he did today in a hot team's house. Cards look good, but they are relying on Palmer to stay healthy. I have never seen it happen in his entire career, but why not? Weird s**t happens. Maybe he stays upright for the season and wins the big one in our house. Wouldn't that be just f**king swell? Final, Final viewpoint: We are doing what I feared might happen. We are, to borrow from Jimmy T, roller-coastering. Except, we are plummeting down to hell. Well, I am done. I am off to drink some Theraflu. I hear there is blood moon tonight, go watch it. While I have to listen to Cardinal fans tell me how s**tty my team is. And you know what, they are right!

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Sep 27, 2015 at 4:26 PM

Bootlegger
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Sep 27, 2015 at 4:29 PM

VaBeachNiner
Veteran
Posts: 60,133

Kap as a blind Al Pacino makes sense now lol.

Sep 27, 2015 at 4:29 PM

SoCold
Hall of Dumb
Posts: 133,164

LOL

Sep 27, 2015 at 4:36 PM

WRATHman44
Staff
Posts: 16,957

ugh.

Sep 27, 2015 at 5:44 PM

LasVegasWally
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Posts: 24,886

Barf-worthy!

Sep 27, 2015 at 5:53 PM

Ike49
Member
Posts: 1,889

Meh

Sep 27, 2015 at 6:47 PM

zonkers
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Posts: 4,395

Originally posted by VaBeachNiner:
Kap as a blind Al Pacino makes sense now lol.

Four eyes needs to update his prescription

Sep 27, 2015 at 6:50 PM

socalniner
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Posts: 19,420

Hooo yah

Sep 27, 2015 at 6:57 PM

Rocket4989
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Posts: 7,110

Originally posted by socalniner:
Hooo yah

Sep 27, 2015 at 7:09 PM

#10

agumby
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Posts: 812

someones got too much time on there hands

Sep 27, 2015 at 7:18 PM

#11

VaBeachNiner
Veteran
Posts: 60,133

Originally posted by agumby:
someones got too much time on there hands

Someone has obviously not read the fro'th of July threads.

Sep 27, 2015 at 7:19 PM

#12

agumby
Veteran
Posts: 812

Originally posted by VaBeachNiner:
Someone has obviously not read the fro'th of July threads.

someone will have to check them out, cheers

Sep 27, 2015 at 7:56 PM

#13

jbeale49
Veteran
Posts: 1,054

Looking For positives in the dessert....

Sep 27, 2015 at 8:03 PM

#14

jreff22
Veteran
Posts: 67,413

Lol

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