The "Guess what s**tty news we'll hear next" Thread

Paton and McDonough drop out tomorrow.

49ers hire Terry Donahue as GM.

Originally posted by susweel:

Originally posted by ChazBoner:

we already know what's coming up next...

Yup

Shanny withdraws from 49ers coaching search.

Cmon man that's like Donald trump winning the presidency despite being down in every major poll.

Oh wait...

Ok you doomsdayers...knock it off with the Shanahan stuff. He wants to be our HC...the only thing holding it up is his team's still in the SB hunt. His owner, HC and all the players have been informed he's coming to the Niners and are supporting him. GM is another story...even though both GB guys bolted, the Vikes' asst GM, George Paton wants the job and is likely to get it. McDonough's still in the running, but I think Jed goes with Paton. He's highly regarded (as is McDonough), so should be fine as our GM. Another bit of news is our team's pursuing Gus Bradley to be Shanahan's DC. In fact, they just upped their offer to him. So, to recap, the future's not gloomy at all...new HC in Shanahan, new GM in Paton & hopefully a good DC in Bradley. That's a pretty darn good start to the off-season.

Originally posted by CorvaNinerFan:
Ok you doomsdayers...knock it off with the Shanahan stuff. He wants to be our HC...the only thing holding it up is his team's still in the SB hunt. His owner, HC and all the players have been informed he's coming to the Niners and are supporting him. GM is another story...even though both GB guys bolted, the Vikes' asst GM, George Paton wants the job and is likely to get it. McDonough's still in the running, but I think Jed goes with Paton. He's highly regarded (as is McDonough), so should be fine as our GM. Another bit of news is our team's pursuing Gus Bradley to be Shanahan's DC. In fact, they just upped their offer to him. So, to recap, the future's not gloomy at all...new HC in Shanahan, new GM in Paton & hopefully a good DC in Bradley. That's a pretty darn good start to the off-season.

Do you know if Gus runs a 4-3 or a 3-4 though?

Paraag Marathe as GM.

Jim Hostler named offensive coordinator

Originally posted by LayTheWoodall:

Jim Hostler named offensive coordinator

And Billy Davis as DC!

Jed decides to believe in Johnny Football...

http://www.espn.com.au/nfl/story/_/id/18518607/johnny-manziel-says-sober-needs-only-one-team-believe-order-return-nfl

Originally posted by Jasta:
Jed decides to believe in Johnny Football...

http://www.espn.com.au/nfl/story/_/id/18518607/johnny-manziel-says-sober-needs-only-one-team-believe-order-return-nfl

Okay in the midst of all this, let me just say one thing:

If there's a guy who's making any decision related to our QB, it better not EVER under ANY circumstances be Jed. Ever. Kyle's father dealt with that issue with Snyder in Washington and you bet Kyle wouldn't want to go through that himself.

We don't have to make stuff up and guess what crappy news is next. It writes itself. Just wait five minutes and voila.

Kyle Shanahan backs out of 49ers job, stays with Altlanta

Originally posted by Aj_hwd954:

Kyle Shanahan backs out of 49ers job, stays with Altlanta

You realize that he would be giving up a 6-7 mil per year job if he backed out, right? Unlikely.

Colts reignite Pagano's cancer, he "retires"

Colts poach Shanahan & Paton

Gamble promoted by Niners, hires Cable

Originally posted by KeepRabbitsOut:
We don't have to make stuff up and guess what crappy news is next. It writes itself. Just wait five minutes and voila.

Sad but true!

Originally posted by Dr_Bill_Walsh:
Colts reignite Pagano's cancer, he "retires"

Colts poach Shanahan & Paton

Gamble promoted by Niners, hires Cable

This. Or maybe they do go with Manning as GM and he snags up Shanahan.