Fathers, Sons and Football

Aug 24, 2013 at 1:20 PM


This journey began for me in 1976. I was 5 years old and had just become aware of professional football. My family lived in San Jose and in our house, if you watched football, you were watching the 49ers...no matter how bad they were. As some of you may remember, it wasn't easy back then. Not by a long shot. Jim Plunkett was our starter...and he was bad. The defense was okay...but just okay. The Niners couldn't close. They were the laughingstock of the NFL.

Just as there are today, there were tall tales back then, too. Stories about Frankie Albert, YA Tittle, RC Owens, Joe Perry, Hugh McElhenny, John Brodie and a host of other local heroes. My Dad would rave about Gene Washington. My grandfather would go on for hours about Leo Nomellini, the biggest, baddest defensive lineman of all time. None of them had hoisted a Lombardi Trophy (or won a NFL Championship pre-merger), but that didn't matter.

They were our guys. The good guys. And no matter how tough it was, we would watch. We would cheer. We would laugh. We would cry. But win, lose or draw; in some way, shape or form, 49er football became a huge part of our Sunday ritual. In 1981, when Sundays became Super, the Niners became more than a part of Sunday...they simply BECAME Sunday. They were the living, breathing embodiment of Autumn and Winter weekends.

My Dad and I had our ups and downs over the years...but whatever our differences, they never got in the way of football. The game, our team and our guys represented common ground...the one thing we could come back to when everything else was falling apart. No matter what was going on, football was an ever present life raft. Every week from September to January, we'd find respite from the chaos of everyday life...even if it was just for a few hours.

Even now, when I close my eyes, a lifetime-long highlight reel flashes by. Sprint Right Option. Dan Bunz and the greatest goal line stop in Super Bowl history. Joe Cool being...cool. Ronnie Lott's hit on Ickey Woods. Roger Craig's 3 TD effort against Miami. The Big Easy against Denver. John Taylor's 10-yard game winning catch against Cinci. Jerry Rice beating...everybody. Steve Young's 6-TD explosion against the Chargers. The Catch. The Catch II. The Catch III. Jeff Garcia's comeback against the Giants. Steve Young FINALLY beating the Cowboys. Charles Haley's "invisible sack" against the Rams in the NFC Championship. Alex Smith (finally) having the game of his life against the Saints. Steve Young's 49-yard TD run against the Vikings. Garrison Hearst's 96-yard TD run against the Jets. So many memories...they all sort of run together now...like a giant blur of awesome.

That giant blur of awesome came to a sudden halt for me in September of last year, when my Dad finally lost his battle with cancer. As I wrote back then, Pop and 49er football are inextricably connected for me...and they will be for all time. Sundays suddenly seemed...off. Uncomfortable. Wrong.

For the first time in my life, football was just...there. Pop was gone...and along with him, the brief respite from day to day life that football used to represent.

As fate would have it, when last season's NFC Championship kicked off, I was sitting on a couch in Alaska, up for the weekend to visit my Mom. There was some comfort in that. Mom is a big time Niner fan, and if anyone knows what it's like to watch a game with me (I am what some would euphemistically call "animated" about the 49ers), she does. Things were fine.

Right up until the 49ers fell behind, 17-0, that is. The house was quiet. The mood was somber. Heads were hanging.This Sunday was starting to feel like a bad dream.

As I still sometimes do, I reflexively reached for my phone...and realized as I began to dial his number that Pop wasn't at the other end.

Just then, I got a text from my son, Alec.

One text turned into five, and five grew into a full blown breakdown of what was happening, how we could come back and why it was possible. It wasn't anything more than prognostication...but it was something. The day had sucked so far...but it wasn't over yet.

Then, the Niners scored.

Less somber, out text exchange picked up. Vernon was getting open. The defense was getting stops. Frank was finding space.

Just like that, the Niners scored again.

The game got closer, and the exchange more animated. We were still in this. We had a shot. As the 3rd quarter came to a close, the 49ers were on their way to overcoming the largest deficit in the history of the NFC Championship.

Then Frank Gore scored...and just like that, the 49ers had their first lead of the day. A few minutes of nail-biting and one impressive Navorro Bowman pass breakup later, the 49ers were headed to the Super Bowl. The first 49er Super Bowl of my son's life.

We all know how last season ended. Each of us has our own sad story of that day. For the first time in franchise history, the 49ers lost a Super Bowl. Though it was painful for me to watch, I found some unexpected comfort in the aftermath. Just as Pop had done for me when the 49ers were routed at the Meadowlands by the Giants in 1986...and again when they suffered a shocking playoff defeat at the hands of the Vikings in 1987, I found myself comforting my son.

Though I hadn't imagined that it would when I was younger, things have come full circle. My son is just as enamored with the 49ers as I was. Alec has become a bright, intelligent young man (not to mention one hell of a football player himself)...and I have become the old guy that spins yarns about retired legends.

The 49ers last season at Candlestick is going to have its share of ups and downs. Moments to cheer. Moments to shake our heads. Moments to hold our collective breath. Moments to share. But no matter how this season shakes out, try not to forget that this is more than just a game...more than just a spectator sport. This a living, breathing tradition. This is 49er football.

No matter how this season shakes out, don't forget that. Remember to enjoy the ride, 49er fans.
The views within this article are those of the writer and, while just as important, are not necessarily those of the site as a whole.


14 Comments

  • Lucky Phil
    AJ, You got your guy Chris Harper.
    Sep 2, 2013 at 8:45 AM
    0
    Response: Just read that Phil. I'm bummed that is cost us Cam Johnson...but I get the feeling that Harper will have pay big dividends. The guy is loaded with potential.
  • Lucky Phil
    Great Story, AJ. As I always say their is time to reflect on the past...And their is time and a place to KIck Ass! Now is the time to Kick Ass! Enjoy the season, AJ. And lets get after these Son Of A [email protected]#$%!
    Sep 1, 2013 at 9:08 AM
    0
    Response: Nicely put Phil!!
  • GP
    Went to school with an A. Bolino at Camden in San Jose. He was a star lineman on the light weight (B) team. Although a generation ahead of you, my story is much the same. Watching 9'er football with my dad started in the late 1950's and continued until his death in 2007. One regret is that he didn't live to see them "reborn" in 2011 and 2012.
    Aug 30, 2013 at 4:45 PM
    0
    Response: The Bolino you went to school with was my Dad, Armand. He told me all about how good that Camden team was, and how they went undefeated his Senior year. He was pretty proud of that. I'm sorry that your Dad missed the 49ers rebirth under Coach Harbaugh. My pop got to see them get close...but not quite all the way back. One thing that I'm not sorry about is that Pop passed on that football skill...but it skipped a generation. His grandson is a monster of a linebacker:) Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I miss Pop every single day, and it's comforting to know that others remember him, too:)
  • George
    Amazing story,I can totally relate.Brought back so many good memories,my journey started in 1980.-Go Niners!
    Aug 27, 2013 at 8:05 AM
    0
  • charles
    Enjoyed reading your fine article, it reminded me of the many reasons I too became a Niner. Candlestick will always be a special place. "There's nothing finer than a Niner".
    Aug 25, 2013 at 10:59 AM
    0
  • Kathleen
    well i thought the season would never get here. thanks for continuing this, kid. it's a genetic thing. uncle doug must have missed the memo. go niners. <3 you, <3 my grandson, <3 my twin soul, uncle bub.
    Aug 25, 2013 at 10:58 AM
    0
  • karihappy
    Wow, this article is so well written and so much mirrors my husband's life, right down to his father passing last December, that it made me cry. Thank you for verbalizing the love of the Niners that we all have. Here's to our loved ones in Heaven, cheering on the Team!!!
    Aug 25, 2013 at 10:34 AM
    0
  • Ian
    Thanks for an amazing article. Definatley reminded me of similar memories with my Dad and I, and now my son and I. Best article I've read in months. Tons of heart.. Go Niners!!
    Aug 25, 2013 at 4:04 AM
    0
  • Mike S
    Awesome article AJ...the last pass breakup of the ATL game was from Navarro Bowman. Is that the one you're referring to? (Brooks might've batted one down too but the one that iced the game was Bowman's) Can't wait for this season. NINERS!!!!
    Aug 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM
    0
    Response: Nope...you're right. Good catch amigo:) Change made! And I am right there with ya...I can't wait for the season to start!
  • Vicki Hamilton
    I suspect this story applies to a lot of folks - a lot of families. We wore our lucky sweatshirts. We never deviated from the food we ate during games, We sat in the same places in front of the television - unless of course we were at a game. It was important. I've been a 9ers fan since the 50s - John Brodie and John Henry Johnson - that game at Keysar vs. the LA Rams. That is when it all started. Thank you 9ers.
    Aug 24, 2013 at 9:31 PM
    0
  • Monsterniner
    outstanding, simply outstanding article full of feelings, thanks man for giving us this
    Aug 24, 2013 at 8:02 PM
    0
    Response: My pleasure, man. Thanks for reading!
  • uncle bub
    once again my beloved nephew AJ has penned a gem. I am living proof of our family...okay, except for Uncle Doug...dawg gone Raiders fan :)... that we live and die with the 49ers. Passing that love of the game to our sons and daughters is the real treasure. Like he said...full circle. Nuttin but love.
    Aug 24, 2013 at 5:46 PM
    0
    Response: Go Niners, Uncle Bub:)
  • Cameron
    Wow, I felt as if someone was telling my story. Right up to the point of your son. I wish my son and I could develop a connection like that. Thank you for sharing.
    Aug 24, 2013 at 3:30 PM
    0
  • Sean
    Beautiful article!
    Aug 24, 2013 at 3:25 PM
    0
    Response: Thanks for reading, Sean. Go Niners:)

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