Sunday, April 1, 2007
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Houston residents want no pet tax
Residents of Houston are furious over the proposed pet tax that would charge $10 for every 5 lbs a pet weighs.
NFL fan sites in serious trouble
Two popular NFL team fans sites are being criticized for spreading false news and rumors.
Google to Advertise in Space
The search engine giant plans to launch giant satellite banners that can be seen by telescope.
Houston's 8th Annual April Fool's Day Parade
This year's proceeds will go toward freeing monkeys being used in scientific experimentation.
Fast food icons go head to head
The famous fast food mascots, Jack and Burger King, will meet on May 4th in a "no rules" Pay-Per-View fight.
Computer Virus Spreads to Human
While many feel that Macs are more secure than PC's, a man in Dallas claims that his iMac gave him a cold.
Texans deal Johnson to 49ers for draft picks, Battle
Houston to re-enter second round by sending wide receiver Andre Johnson to San Francisco
By Randy Maxwell - print article
Published: April 1, 2007
Inside sources from within the Houston Texans organization say the team is finalizing a deal to send fifth year wide receiver Andre Johnson to the San Francisco 49ers. In exchange for Johnson, the Texans will receive a number of draft picks including San Francisco's second, one of their thirds and an undisclosed 2008 early round selection. The Texans will also receive fifth year wide receiver Arnaz Battle in the deal. Battle, a converted quarterback from Notre Dame, had 59 catches for 686 yards and 3 touchdowns last season.

The trade will put Houston back in the second-round pick with the 42nd overall selection. The team had lost their second-round pick as part of the deal that acquired quarterback Matt Schaub from Atlanta. The Texans, who can use as many picks as they can get their hands on, need to fill in holes on an offense ranked 28th and a defense ranked 24th in 2006.

San Francisco had some room to make a deal since they had an excess of draft picks. The NFL recently granted the 49ers two compensatory draft picks at the end of the third and fourth rounds of April's draft while the Texans received none. The Texans only have six picks in the NFL draft, so the addition of two of San Francisco's will go a long way to improving this squad.

Neither Johnson nor his agent could be reached for comment, but it will likely come as a shock to both, as Johnson figured to be a big part of Houston's future. Instead, he will now join an offense that has a young quarterback in Alex Smith and the 2006 NFC rushing leader, Frank Gore.

Johnson gives San Francisco a legitimate number one target, something that the 49ers have been looking for since the release of troubled wide receiver Antonio Bryant.

In an interview with head coach Gary Kubiak last week regarding the rumors of a Johnson trade, he was quick to deny it saying, "Andre is a big part of our offense and we hope to keep him here for a long time. I see no reason to trade one of our best offensive weapons."

Around the NFL

During a USC charity event at the Hooters in Santa Monica, California, Saints running back Reggie Bush made a bold statement saying that he would not only beat San Francisco 49ers running back Frank Gore for the rushing title in 2007, but he would break the NFL all-time rushing record first. When asked whether he was concerned with putting statistics ahead of team play, Bush said, "You want to see wins? Just give me the [expletive] ball. I am the Saints offense and even Drew [Brees] knows that." Bush then asked a friend for a ride home as he was too intoxicated to drive.

Sideline celebrations could be very different the next time you visit your favorite NFL stadium. The NFL Cheerleaders Union has warned the NFL that if it does not meet their demands for better benefits, they may have the league's cheerleaders go on strike for the first time in history. Jenny Dilalo, a spokeswoman of the NFLCU stated, "The girls work in awful conditions, they can smell the sweaty players and dirty laundry from their very cramped locker rooms. For women who support the team, and have to portray a certain image, it just isn't fair. On top of that, most cheerleaders work more then one job because of the low pay." The NFLCU is demanding an increase in pay, better benefits, more insulation for their locker rooms and more conservative uniforms. Currently NFL owners are at odds on how to proceed and are considering having male led spirit squads like many college football programs.

WFNT in Boston, Massachusetts, is reporting that the New England Patriots have entered the hunt for Oakland wide receiver Randy Moss. The front office seems to feel that Moss is the player that could put them back on top and have opened up trade talks with the Raiders. Quarterback Tom Brady is very supportive of the troubled wide receiver becoming his primary target on offense and has even put in a few calls to Moss on his own. Brady even went as far as saying that he would join Moss should he choose to moon any more NFL teams.

The Tennessee Titans' out of control cornerback, Adam "Pacman" Jones, claims that he has found God and vows to change his troubled ways. Shockingly, the revelation came hours after he received notice that he would meet with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on April 3 to discuss his run-ins with the law. "I have made peace with myself and with God," said Jones while interviewed outside a Las Vegas strip club.

This April Fools story has been brought to you by and If you have read this far, you probably already figured that out.
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