Buy 49ers at Rams NFC Championship tickets →

49ers Lite: Big D

Sep 5, 2014 at 6:57 AM


In the all-encompassing spirit of Texas Football, where the game itself sometimes plays second fiddle to the surrounding hoopla:


AT&T Stadium

The letters "AT&T" stand for "Arlington, Texas, Texas." That's right, the Cowboys claim "Texas" as their country, not the USA. Most Texans do not claim allegiance to the United States. They seceded once and still wish they were a Republic. In fact, they often consider putting a wall around the entire state to keep Americans out, except, of course, for those who bring in revenue. As their tourist slogan once said "It's like a whole other country." The sprawling stadium mirrors the Texan belief that size makes right. However, if the Cowboys falter this year, we may have to revise the old Texas adage from "All hat, no cattle." to "All stadium, no competitive pro football team."

"The Catch"

Older Texans still seethe when they remember how a quiche-eating outfit from San Francisco defeated what was then called "America's Team." As a direct result, they now call the Cowboys "Texas's Team" in contradistinction to Houston, whose NFL team actually is called the "Texans." Folks in Dallas think Houston might secretly be part of some Caribbean country, if not Mexico. And while they're at it, Texan geographers insist that Alaska, with its socialist oil-revenue sharing, still belongs to Russia, which, of course, makes Texas still the largest by-God state in the lower forty-eight. You could look it up in a Texas textbook. (Hawaiians, please send all comments to Rick Perry.) Frankly, you probably won't see Dwight Clark drop out of the sky like an angel, to snatch Montana's end-zone pass, replayed on the gargantuan screens inside AT&T Stadium anytime soon. But Niners' fans remember the play.

Jerry Jones

The Cowboys' owner has had his face adjusted, his image retouched, and his hair immaculately combed. Why? Probably, like most Texans, he intends to run for president. His honorable intention: to make the rest of the country more like Texas. True, he actually hails from Arkansas, born in, yikes, California. Close enough. Anyway, the national media, assuming the man perpetually stumps for possible political office, loves to interview Jerry, what with his twinkly eyes, sweet tongue, and obvious joie de vivre. However, pay particular attention to his solemn poses when ensconced inside his rhinestone-studded luxury suite, and ask yourself: Does not this man appear presidential?

The Cowboys Cheerleaders

Well, back in the day, these gals (or, rather, their predecessors) got more attention than the game itself. Then, the major networks would set their cameras at low angles and zoom in on every … Enough, this is a family website. Since fourth-wave feminism, however, more fans feel free to ask whether Cowboy cheerleadership represents empowerment or exploitation, whether cheesecake masquerades as wholesomeness or vice versa. For some extra fun, listen to the comments from the announcers whenever a shot of a cheerleader shows up on their monitors, especially, rare in their profession, the dead silence. Andy Sidaris where are you?

The Commercials

No, opening-game ads don't match the Super Bowl when it comes to commercial creativity. But still, most companies do break out their seasonally new offerings, with fresh bits to entice consumers and subsequent data to justify advertising budgets to their corporate boards. Brand loyalty, product image, and the next "it" factor contend for our attention, all with great dollops of droll humor, cool music, and bold colors. So, enjoy the commercials. Make like those jovial Lone-Star legions, and grab your snacks during the game!

The opinions within this article are those of the writer and, while just as important, are not necessarily those of the site as a whole.


0 Comments

  • No Comments

Facebook Comments



More San Francisco 49ers News



49ers Notebook: Could 49ers mark end of the road for Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady? Arik Armstead the baller; Deebo's big run; Outcome never in doubt?

By Kirk Larrabee
Jan 23

There's a lot to unpack from Saturday night's memorable 13-10 win for the San Francisco 49ers over the Green Bay Packers, but some of the biggest news to surface since that game came to an end involves the legendary quarterback the 49ers faced in their latest playoff victory—and the one they could face next week. Keep in mind there are still a lot of unknowns here, including (as of Sunday morning) whether or not the 49ers will even get this opportunity when they battle in the NFC Championship next Sunday (6:40 p.m. ET/3:40 p.m. PT, FOX). But based on what Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers said Saturday night to go with what's been reported about Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady over the past 24 hours, it's not incorrect to say the 49ers could conceivably be the team to



Arik Armstead's unselfish play a big reason for 49ers' impressive run defense, says DeMeco Ryans

By David Bonilla
Jan 14

The San Francisco 49ers run defense has been as good as anybody's through the second half of the season. In fact, The Athletic's David Lombardi pointed out that the 49ers own the NFL's top run defense since their Week 6 bye. That's about when defensive lineman Arik Armstead moved to primarily play inside, filling in for an injured Javon Kinlaw. The 49ers don't see that as a coincidence. "I think our run defense improved drastically because of the unselfish play by Arik Armstead," defensive coordinator DeMeco Ryans said on Friday. "I think people kind of forget we lost our starter in Kinlaw early in the year, and we were trying to figure that out inside. When you want to



Tough task: 49ers can't let Packers WR Davante Adams have another big game

By David Bonilla
Jan 21

Davante Adams, the two-time first-team All-Pro and five-time Pro Bowler, is among the best wide receivers in the NFL. He's been one of quarterback Aaron Rodgers' most reliable weapons this season and will be someone the San Francisco 49ers defense has to slow down during Saturday's playoff game against the Green Bay Packers. Adams has been a handful for the 49ers in recent years. The receiver has hauled in 48 receptions for 618 yards and five touchdowns in five meetings with the Niners since 2018, including the 2019 season's nine-reception, 138-yard performance in the NFC Championship Game. That's an average of nearly 124 yards per game. He's been dominant. "I just think of how balanced he is and how his lower half is with his feet," head coach Kyle Shanahan said



49ers fan takeover of SoFi Stadium shocked Matthew Stafford's wife

By David Bonilla
Jan 13

The San Francisco 49ers remain a popular team in the Los Angeles area, but Sunday's crowd at SoFi Stadium for the playoff-impacting game against the Los Angeles Rams was wild. The Rams were the home team, but you couldn't tell. That's because the crowd was dominated by 49ers fans, forcing the Rams to play in a hostile environment on their own turf. It got so bad for the Rams that the crowd noise forced the offense to use a silent count during critical moments in the game. It was too loud to ignore. "It was a tough environment for us to communicate in really the whole second half," Rams quarterback Matthew


Featured

More by D.C. Owens

More Articles

Share 49ersWebzone