Guess the first headline Monday morning

"Baalke still working like he will remain the GM, extends Gabbert through 2020. Confirms Bowman and Staley are retiring".

"O'neil appreciates second chance. Vows to correct the defense. Considers switching to wide 9".

"Kyle Shannahan schedules interview with #LARams".

Originally posted by Ninerlakerdodger:

Shan-Ahancisco 49ers

In today's surprise move Jed York fired Trent Baakke and Chip Kelly to bring in Mike and Kyle Shanahan for the 2027 NFL Season.
Mike will be the new GM who's finds himself on the clock with the #1 pick in the upcoming draft, with his son Kyle being brought in as the new head coach!

Baalke and Chip until the 2027 season? Yikes!

Los Altos Hills Weakly Headlines:
As expected, 49ers President Jed York is to take a year long sabbatical to install on his cabana ten thousand 500 watt LED floodlights directed at neighbors' properties. He will retain his position of President to ensure that his role has not changed.
John and Denise York announce that Paraag Marathe has taken over as Acting President with full managerial authority for all football operations during the President's absence.
Acting President Marathe's first act was to appoint himself General Manager of the team, reflecting his actual role over the past few years. Trent Baalke was promoted to be Vice President for Scouting Players in South Dakota, Asia and the Pacific.
Acting President Marathe's second act was to fire the entire coaching staff for not faithfully following his book on second half football play on week 16 of the 2016 season. In their defense, he did acknowledge that the entire staff had previously done a wonderful job following the book's directions after it was provided to them before the game in week 2 . He plans to provide the new coaching staff with this book and his companion book on first half play shortly before the first 2017 regular season game so that the team can be even more successfully managed in that season. He is also looking forward to personally selecting the players in the upcoming draft, rather than simply providing their names in envelopes to Trent Baalke as he has done the previous 6 or so drafts.

49ers Report:

Baalke not ready to leave, to become team's "ULTIMATE" advisor.

Santa Clara: Still believing that Trent Baalke is the right man to lead the ship of that is trying to get back to the promise land, Jed York (owner of SF 49ers)
decided to strip Trent of his GM title. Report all over Santa Clara is for Baalke to remain w/the team and will be the on to find a new GM who will also work
and agree to keep Chip Kelly and his coaching staff. Baalke will no longer be in charge of the draft but will be available in the war room to give advices and
to plan out all deals (trades) that can be done during the draft. The new GM will be in total control from Day One as long as he has Baalke involve to
report to Jed York.

As for Chip Kelly, it has also been reported that the new GM must sit and agree to be on the same boat with the team's head coach. The team had a meeting
last Wednesday that included both Jed and Trent, but in the room, both Chip and their DC were not present. After the meeting, the team decided to give Chip
the voice he didn't have during the year, and also decided to give their defensive coordinator another year to run the team's defense.

Originally posted by JoseCortez:
Kaepernick to retire, join Raiders

for playoff run?

Originally posted by 9moon:
49ers Report:

Baalke not ready to leave, to become team's "ULTIMATE" advisor.

Santa Clara: Still believing that Trent Baalke is the right man to lead the ship of that is trying to get back to the promise land, Jed York (owner of SF 49ers)
decided to strip Trent of his GM title. Report all over Santa Clara is for Baalke to remain w/the team and will be the on to find a new GM who will also work
and agree to keep Chip Kelly and his coaching staff. Baalke will no longer be in charge of the draft but will be available in the war room to give advices and
to plan out all deals (trades) that can be done during the draft. The new GM will be in total control from Day One as long as he has Baalke involve to
report to Jed York.

As for Chip Kelly, it has also been reported that the new GM must sit and agree to be on the same boat with the team's head coach. The team had a meeting
last Wednesday that included both Jed and Trent, but in the room, both Chip and their DC were not present. After the meeting, the team decided to give Chip
the voice he didn't have during the year, and also decided to give their defensive coordinator another year to run the team's defense.

damn you man.

Jed York's Cabana catches fire

Jed York sells the 49ers and buys the Seahawks

Jed is traded to Seattle

#NewLook #

Originally posted by Ninerlakerdodger:
Shan-Ahancisco 49ers

In today's surprise move Jed York fired Trent Baakke and Chip Kelly to bring in Mike and Kyle Shanahan for the 2027 NFL Season.
Mike will be the new GM who's finds himself on the clock with the #1 pick in the upcoming draft, with his son Kyle being brought in as the new head coach!

Fxxk yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

49ers secure number 2 overall pick in the draft. Finish 2-14, matching franchise worse season.

I don't think anyone is going to be fired .

Originally posted by LifelongNiner:

49ers secure number 2 overall pick in the draft. Finish 2-14, matching franchise worse season.

I don't think anyone is going to be fired .

If nobody gets fired then York has a loooooooot of explaining to do.

Originally posted by Fanaticofnfl:

Originally posted by LifelongNiner:
49ers secure number 2 overall pick in the draft. Finish 2-14, matching franchise worse season.

I don't think anyone is going to be fired .

If nobody gets fired then York has a loooooooot of explaining to do.

If nobody gets fired then the 49ers don't deserve a single fan.

Jed York Announces His Engagement to Trent Baalke.


Not that there's anything wrong with that.