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New Theory as to the Niners struggles

I have a new theory on the Niners "Troubles." I think we have a conspiracy on our hands, one that runs deep and into dark places. I have spent countless hours researching this, I have confirmed my suspicions with multiple insider sources and now I am going to shed light on to this awful truth. Besides for the obvious Illuminati Elements involved, I believe the Niners are playing possum with the league and have made a bold attempt to save money and possibly the franchise.

It starts with Kaep, of course it has to start with him. The front office knows that if Kaep continues to have a breakout year he will be paid in the $100 Million dollar range. They also know the secret to their success is that they have been able to spend money elsewhere on other positions as opposed to their QB. They have been able to build one of the most talented and deep teams because of this. They look at the Ravens and Falcons dropping all their cash on their QB's and their terrible struggles and decided this would not be them. Roman and Harbaugh knew after Kaep's 400 yard performance in Green Bay that if they let unleashed Kaep to his full potential the cost of signing him would be so astronomical it would blow up the team.

So they began to purposefully handcuff and handicap him with questionable play calls and personnel packages. They will continue to do this to him until the day he signs a much more team friendly deal. But I hear what you're saying, you're saying "Bro one guy due up for a big contract playing poorly a conspiracy does not make!" Don't you worry you're pretty little head random internet person. It runs deeper.

Lets look at who else is up for contracts...big contracts. Crabtree, did that achilles injury really happen by freak accident like we are led to believe? Aldon Smith...WHO WAS FEEDING HIM THE SHOTS! WHO CALLED THE POLICE ON HIM! I wouldn't be shocked if good ole Baalke was hiding behind that tree as an innocent Aldon tried to get away from his car.

Ok, ok, ok so sure it's weird that the 3 biggest guys up for a contract next year have all either played badly, been injured, or developed an addiction. But what about the 4th guy? Oh you mean Mike Iupati? Our stud LG also due for a big pay day next year? Yeah he just "sprained" his MCL last game, this was no doubt a subtle threat of what would happen if he didn't get in line and take an affordable contract. I'm on to the Harbaugh/Baalke/Illuminati reign of terror, and don't be surprised if all the guys listed above take team friendly deals well below their market value. We believe in a team full of dark manipulating individuals whose sole purpose is win as many championships as possible....BY. ANY. MEANS. NECESSARY.

Just remember though folks like Bud Light always tells us...It's only weird if it doesn't work.

P.S. I am pretty sure Brian Jennings is the actual hand doling out the mighty Harbaugh justice. They cut him so he could better work in the shadows to help the team. Fear the Centaur.
Can u share what you are smoking ?
The Illuminati would make you respond to my post like that.
And Aldon Smith signs a mega deal in 3..., 2...




Everyone who read this is now stupider for having done so.
  • cciowa
  • Veteran
  • Posts: 22,987
the new long snapper who replace jennings is the least of our worries this year. i remember some of the webzone had a cciowa meltdown on that one but the kid has done well
Or more awesome?
Originally posted by IdahoNiner:





This sums it up perfectly. I felt the same way once i found out. the truth.
[ Edited by OX49er253 on Nov 20, 2013 at 7:00 PM ]
Is this the mayor of Toronto?
Originally posted by cciowa:
the new long snapper who replace jennings is the least of our worries this year. i remember some of the webzone had a cciowa meltdown on that one but the kid has done well

I think i was about the only one defending Mcdermott and predicting he would take the spot early on. People pretty much thought i was delusional. I actually thought we would draft him in the seventh round.
  • cciowa
  • Veteran
  • Posts: 22,987
Originally posted by IdahoNiner:
Originally posted by cciowa:
the new long snapper who replace jennings is the least of our worries this year. i remember some of the webzone had a cciowa meltdown on that one but the kid has done well

I think i was about the only one defending Mcdermott and predicting he would take the spot early on. People pretty much thought i was delusional. I actually thought we would draft him in the seventh round.

i was actually calm on that one because i figured if he f**ked up and cost us we could always call jennings back like we did with timmy harris in 94 and haley in 98?
Praise be to Brian Jennings for his ninja work in the shadows. McDermott lives by his grace.
  • cciowa
  • Veteran
  • Posts: 22,987
Originally posted by OX49er253:
Praise be to Brian Jennings for his ninja work in the shadows. McDermott lives by his grace.

jennings looks like he could be someones henchman
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