WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS - The San Francisco 49ers

If the "Why your team sucks" Seattle version didn't mention that the coach is forcing the players to do yoga and meditate, they really missed the boat on that one.

he called Kap a "Fast & Furious" extra?

6) Rashaun Woods. Give the Niners credit: when they f**k up a draft pick, they REALLY f**k it up.

Originally posted by NineFourNiner:

Originally posted by GNielsen:
No reason to get butthurt over satire. My favorite section:

"Niners fans are unique in that they are both spoiled AND disloyal. This team has won FIVE Super Bowls, and even that wasn't enough to keep people hanging around during the Singletary years. Hell, they could barely tolerate Jeff Garcia taking them to the playoffs. No no, this team has to average 13 wins a season to get natives to actually look up."

now THAT is spot on!

Agreed. I still remember our 13-3 season and it wasn't really until our championship game until the negative comments stopped. Then Alex had a poor outing, as did the rest of the team, but we still came one (or two) Kyle Williams fumbles from being in the Super Bowl. And all the negativity flowed back.

Hell, I was thrilled and excited just to hit win #9 for the first time in a decade that season... first winning season since 2002! woo!

You know the Hockey version of these are funny, these just seem kind of Dickish. That's not the homer in me talking, there just isn't a lot of humor here...

Originally posted by Imfasterthanur:
I stopped at the Superbowl clip.


Still cuts deep....

Drink a beer. Watch the game Thursday. New year, new hope.

Oh, and I love satire, thought that article was funny as hell. Havent read all the other teams yet.

I was a bit disappointed with the effort really. The Seattle one was funny as hell, so are some others. I felt the Niners one showed lack luster effort and was filled with too many compliments. The author must be a Niners fan.

"Why your team doesn't suck: The Patriots have no receivers. The Texans don't have a good enough quarterback. The Colts are still a year or so away. The Ravens lost everyone. Congratulations, Broncos. You may very well win the AFC by default, and then have the pleasure of getting sandblasted by the 49ers in February."

Excerpt from the article on Denver. Now that is funny.

Originally posted by WINiner:
I was a bit disappointed with the effort really. The Seattle one was funny as hell, so are some others. I felt the Niners one showed lack luster effort and was filled with too many compliments. The author must be a Niners fan.

That's cause the team is really good and we don't have any criminals or douche bags on the team... except for Perrish Cox I guess, but he was acquitted so...

Originally posted by NickSh49:

Originally posted by WINiner:

I was a bit disappointed with the effort really. The Seattle one was funny as hell, so are some others. I felt the Niners one showed lack luster effort and was filled with too many compliments. The author must be a Niners fan.

That's cause the team is really good and we don't have any criminals or douche bags on the team... except for Perrish Cox I guess, but he was acquitted so...

Yeah maybe being a Flyers fan makes me see more humor in the hockey version...Philly fans and teams are low hanging fruit. If I didn't like the Flyers before I moved here...I would probably have chosen another team.

Originally posted by ninermedic:

Originally posted by real9erfan:
I don't know, something about Pete Carroll just rubs me the wrong way. I have disliked many teams before that rivaled the 49ers, but I didn't necessarily hate their coaches (or at least I respected them). I know I respected Jimmy Johnson even though I hated the Cowboys. I respected Mike Holmgren in Green Bay. But I feel like I have no respect for Carroll. His antics and behavior on the sideline are akin to those of a punk teenager. The way he stood by that referee at the end of the Green Bay game last year and waited for him to confirm the terrible touchdown call in order to jump up and down an flail his arms in the air was the ultimate example why I have no respect for him. And his gum chewing is utterly annoying and seems downright unprofessional.

While I agree completely, many Seahawks fans use a similar argument against Jim Harbaugh. The way he yells and goes apesh*t on referees.

But if one were to ask me, I LOVE IT, and would rather my coach be a passionate, sociopathic, obsessive compulsive, borderline madman of a headcoach than.. well.... Pete Caroll.

Originally posted by Imfasterthanur:
While I agree completely, many Seahawks fans use a similar argument against Jim Harbaugh. The way he yells and goes apesh*t on referees.

But if one were to ask me, I LOVE IT, and would rather my coach be a passionate, sociopathic, obsessive compulsive, borderline madman of a headcoach than.. well.... Pete Caroll.

True, but it's not uncommon or unprofessional for coaches to chew out officials during the game. During the course of the game, Harbaugh always looks like he's clearly engaged in actual coaching. He's looking at the play calls, trying to manage the clock, coaching his players, etc. Pete Carroll looks like some punk teenager trying to act cool, with a smirk on his face, constant gum chewing, fake boxing his offensive coordinator, running down the sideline and jumping up and down whenever his team does anything positive (he even did that during the PRESEASON game against Green Bay when Seattle scored a TD on that pass by Brady Quinn), and the worst for me was his behavior at the end of that Green Bay game last year. Professionals don't do that.

Originally posted by Imfasterthanur:

That is a truly haunting image. He looks like a ghost. He knows that they won't take the call back, and it cost us everything.

Originally posted by BrianGO:

Originally posted by Imfasterthanur:

That is a truly haunting image. He looks like a ghost. He knows that they won't take the call back, and it cost us everything.

holy crap, I didn't even realize it was from the superbowl. (delete)

Originally posted by real9erfan:

Originally posted by Imfasterthanur:
While I agree completely, many Seahawks fans use a similar argument against Jim Harbaugh. The way he yells and goes apesh*t on referees.

But if one were to ask me, I LOVE IT, and would rather my coach be a passionate, sociopathic, obsessive compulsive, borderline madman of a headcoach than.. well.... Pete Caroll.

True, but it's not uncommon or unprofessional for coaches to chew out officials during the game. During the course of the game, Harbaugh always looks like he's clearly engaged in actual coaching. He's looking at the play calls, trying to manage the clock, coaching his players, etc. Pete Carroll looks like some punk teenager trying to act cool, with a smirk on his face, constant gum chewing, fake boxing his offensive coordinator, running down the sideline and jumping up and down whenever his team does anything positive (he even did that during the PRESEASON game against Green Bay when Seattle scored a TD on that pass by Brady Quinn), and the worst for me was his behavior at the end of that Green Bay game last year. Professionals don't do that.

I'm convinced. Screw Pete Carrol!