There is no way to know what happened in the bathroom that night, but there are a few things that we do know about this case.
1.)The girl in question told Big Bens teamate that night that her nickname was "Down to F***" and was wearing a necklace that said it, and her and her friends told Big Ben that.
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As to the evening of March 4, Colon said that, at a bar called The Brick, the alleged victim "repeatedly attempted to get Roethlisberger's attention which included pinching him." She told Colon that her nickname is "DTF" and when he asked her what that means she said "down to f--k." "
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2.)The DA, the police, and the doctors who examined her all refused to press charges or say she they conclude she was raped.
"There was a "laceration in the genital area" but a doctor could not say if it came from a sex assault and there was no evidence of semen or discharge, Bright said."
"The police officer said, 'Wait a minute, let me hear it from her' -- and she's obviously intoxicated -- and he said, 'Did he rape you? And her response was, 'No,'
Source
*Bright is the DA and thats what he said at the press conference*
To me, it seems like he made a bad decision, and he should definitely be punished for 2-4 games for it, but it was for the decision of having sex in a bar bathroom and getting drunk with an underage girl, not rape. He didn't rape her, the facts show that. She told the police that even, then changed her mind later.