I'd be the kicking coach. I could drink Iced-T and watch Andy Lee and Joe Nedney maintain my job security.
The best way I could think to do this would be in the style of Chip Lohmiller. Who is Chip Lohmiller you ask? True story. My brother used to go to Redskins football camp in Bridgewater VA every summer. When we were in HS Chip Lohmiller was the kicker for washington. One of our friends went to the camp to be a kicker. He said it was the worst experience of his life. Chip Lohmiller sat in a lawn chair under an umbrella drinking beer and berated the kids kicking technique all day.
As an older and wiser man I realize that Chip Lohmiller was a smart coach. He was trying to teach the kids the most important lesson of being a kicker. Do it right or everyone will hate your guts and drunk fans won't hesitate to let you know it.
I figure if that's all it takes to coach kickers and ours are good that would be a great job on the Niners staff. I'd be good until Lee and Nedney left the team then they would have to cart my alcoholic butt to rehab.