Just got off the phone with Baalke Mock

So yeah, the craziest thing happened... I got a call from a 408 number about an hour ago and lo and behold.. it was some raspy voice on the other line... he uttered something like "i'm gonna go resign AJ Jenkins if I see us taking Arik Armstead one more time on one of these dumb TV mocks". Guy was hammered... "i'm stressed up to my visor" he said... and then out of nowhere he started spilling the beans.. i was like holy shiiii.... these are some of the things he said...

ROUND 1

".... ivan" he says... "we're going to run the football. That's what we're gonna do. Carlos' gonna get the rock, but its not enough. Bush is too fragile. Kendall is on a one year deal."... "no one's ever guessed my first round pick right and this year is no different... i always go BPA, this year is no different...with the first pick, I'm going to scare the shiii of the whole NFC west and take....

TODD GURLEY - RB - GEORGIA ... "he's the next Adrian Peterson , Ivan. I'm not seating that ACL, and you shouldn't either."




ROUND 2


"...now in the second there's this big strong physical corner I want. I want him like I wanted Cox. Oh damn, I'm too drunk. What I meant to say is i want him to replace Cox..." "No question about it... i'm taking...

ERIC ROWE - CB - UTAH




ROUND 3

"...you know what really ticked me off this offseason, Ivan? No, it wasn't P. Willis' toe. And no it wasn't Jim calling me in the middle of the night just to hear him breathe. No. It was Chris" .... he starts crying... I'm telling you man, he was hammered ... "that was my linebacker. I chose him. i did. Not Jim or Jed... me." and then he starts sobbing uncontrollably and and at the ned of it utters....

PAUL DAWSON - ILB - TCU ..."he's gonna drop Ivan... he's gonna drop... just like this whiskey's dropping into my belly." He takes a swig.




I start telling him that maybe he shouldn't be telling me what he's gonna do, but he starts interrupts me " you know what else I'm going to do... I'm going to trade up back into the third round and draft this teams next 1,000 yard receiver. I'm giving up my fourth, and another third from next year. Were getting a comp next year for Crabs -- ahhh thos godddaaa fades -- so don't freak out on me, Ivan... and when i trade back into the third... i'm gonna take...

SAMMIE COATES - WR - AUBURN



ROUND 4 -

"now in the fourth, I'm going to grabbing Aldon's second cousin... jk, they're not cousins... but he's good...I'm taking...

ZA'DARIUS SMITH - DE - KENTUCKY




ROUND 5

" ... so yeah what what round we in now? 6th" ... "no, the 5th Trent." "Right, right... the 5th... now the guy im taking here is some guy Taylor Price interviewed at the Senior bowl...not a bad football player either. he might have to take Boone's spot if Boone doesn't get his rhinoceros, tribal tattoo having, monster guzzling ass to camp. I'm taking...

JAMIL DOUGLAS - OL - ASU




ROUND 6

" Jimmy, I know, I know. Shut up already, I know.... i'm about to tell him...yeah, yeah this is where I'm taking him -- sorry about that Ivan, but theres this guy Jimmy won't shut up about and this is where I'm taking him... he's...


BOBBY RICHARDSON - DT - INDIANA




ROUND 7

so he starts crying again and through his tears i hear something like " Eric.. Eric, man. I couldn't bear to lose him Ivan" and I'm like"yeah man, I'm worried too" "you are?... that's why I've been looking into safeties. I know. Iknow.. but I couldn't help myself... and I found one... and he's going to be there in seventh... he's...

KYSHEON JARRET - S - VIRGINIA TECH




He stops crying... "Sorry, Ivan... I just get really emotional around this time... now, with the last pick... I know Colin looked great today with his new mechanics but Sunshine's still backing him up -- Yeah, I know you love that movie Jimmy -- anyway.. so I need another QB and theres this gem of a QB ... he's...

CHRIS BONNER - QB - CSU PUEBLO



And so yeah .. he mentioned some free agent picks up after that but they were some weird names, and he soon fell asleep over the phone after that. I think heard Jimmy T talking to Joann from payroll after that... crazy shiizz guys.

speaking of fragile, hasn't Gurly missed 2 out of 3 years due to injury? I dont care how explosive a player is, if he can't stay on the field, he's no good to us.

BEST. MOCK. EVER.

are you sure baalke was the drunk one here

I'm Ok with the picks and enjoyed the presentation.

Looking at that mock ....I'd be drunk too!

Originally posted by gold49digger:
are you sure baalke was the drunk one here

Originally posted by cjsmoove:
Looking at that mock ....I'd be drunk too!

Haha I was just having some fun but I do like the picks. I would not be mad at all if things shook out this way. For one, I am confident Gurley will recover from his injuries and become an Adrian Peterson type player. Who wouldn't want that to go with Hyde.

And a lot have been sleeping on Coates, myself included but the more Ive seen from him, the more he reminds me of TO. Kust a strong fluid runner that wins the ball. He reminds me of Jordan Matthews from last year. I thibnk he would be great value in the late 2nd/third.

Fun stuff...actually liked all the players, been on the Richardson wagon and warming up to Coates, very possible he's the WR Baalke selects.

If we come out of the draft with Gurley, Rowe, and Dawson, it's a big win.

The narrative alone earns you an A+ lol

Home run draft IMO.

Looks like Baalke drafts best when drunk. McCloughan would be proud.

Love this

Originally posted by ivanm05:
ROUND 2
"...now in the second there's this big strong physical corner I want. I want him like I wanted Cox. Oh damn, I'm too drunk. What I meant to say is i want him to replace Cox..."

lol

Entertaining

Glad you guys enjoyed the mock. It's draft day!! I'm hyped.